Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Behind the Scenes

 

Oh the mommy blogging world! It can make you laugh, give you inspiration or even make you think. Here is something else it can do, make you feel inferior.

You will see a thin, beautiful woman giving her equally beautiful children, whom she homeschools (they just mastered their 3rd language!), a birthday party where she cooked all the food, made all the decorations and sewed up the goodie bags. The birthday is at her big beautiful house that she decorated with her own art and repurposed garage sale finds.

Is it bad that mommies want people to see all their accomplishments? No, lord knows us mommies don’t get enough recognition for all that we do. It is nice to have a place where you can post these things and people will want to read about it and they will know exactly how much blood , sweat and tears it took AND they will say “wow, awesome. Great job!”

Still, there are times when I am reading blogs, where I just think to myself “Ugh, I suck! My kid only knows 1 language and he is already 4 and can’t read yet!” I get caught up in it all. It is because I want the very best for my kids (It’s also possible I have a nasty competitive streak.) and some days we all fall short. I like to have balance in my life. I don’t think it is healthy to dedicate every moment of your life to the role of “mommy” or “wife” so some things I just can’t do. I think most if not all of the bloggers also fall short of perfection from time to time. For those of us who may be working mothers or have a very tight budget(ours about strangles me some days) or are single parents or have an illness or whatever, these scenes of perfection can leave you feeling less than.

  I mostly think I do pretty well. I have overcome a contentious childhood, horrible marriage, crippling depression, health issues, even poverty at one point, quit  cigarrettes and all alcohol. I have grown by leaps and bounds spiritually, found my soul mate, taught myself to cook and sew and raised some pretty cool kids. Coming from where I started I do ok, but there are times I feel like I don’t do enough in a day or  don’t do it well enough or I can’t afford enough. All this is my ego talking and trying to keep me down and dependant on it. I know this but still I buckle to it at times.

I would like to close this with some pictures of my not so perfect, not so big, not so fancy, not so ours (we rent) and not so clean house. I am not anywhere near perfect and sometimes my house looks like this:

This is Carter’s room or as we like to call it “LegoLand

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View from the kitchen into my completely undecorated living room

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The basement play area/familyroom/sewing room/office/lego graveyard

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The laundry room or as I like to call it “Dan’s area”

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The kitchen disaster (at least I had some dough rising over there. That’s like productive and stuff…)

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1 comment:

  1. You have every reason to be proud of the job you do as a wife and a mom (I couldn't be more happy!) - but you're also a fantastic individual and friend! Thanks for sharing those pics - they made me feel at home!

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