I have never had many friends. There isn't anything particularly wrong with me I just don't put myself out there. To be quite honest, I am a bit socially awkward. If I am around someone rough and confrontational , I am just lost. If I am around someone super quiet I talk too much to drowned out the awkward silence. I am awful at small talk or pretending. I find it hard to talk about things that don't matter, it feels so fake and, like in some way, I am a liar. Plus, because I am not very social, when I do spend time with people I don't know very well I spend a lot of time analyzing. "When I said this did it offend them? Why did I share so much? Did I monopolize the conversation? Did I talk enough?" As you can imagine this gets exhausting! I also spend a lot of time not knowing what to say. Most people are looking for validation and say things like "you know what I mean?" or "don't you agree?" Call me weird but I find it excruciatingly difficult to just nod or say sure (if I indeed do not agree with them). I also hate confrontation so I won't just be like "heck no, that's totally wrong". I just can't seem to put on my social facade and make it through the evening.
Why do I bring this up? Well, because recently I found myself in a social situation and, shockingly, I was not the least bit uncomfortable. It all came about from a burning desire to get rid of all my junk. My friend Jamie and 3 of her other friends were having a garage sale and offered to let me join. Now Jamie I have known my whole life and one of the other ladies I had met a handful of times, briefly, and hadn't seen in 4 years probably but the other 2 I had never even laid eyes on. Kind of a nightmare scenario for me. I imagined me being there ,off to the side, all creepy and silent for 2 whole days. Had it not been for my overwhelming desire to purge my house of unwanted crap I probably would have declined. Boy am I glad I didn't! I had a really great time and we even got together again this week for scrapbooking. I didn't analyze a thing. I felt no pressure to small talk. I wasn't even uncomfortable at all . It was really a riot .The fact that they could make scrapbooking fun and hilarious is a testament to how easy I found it to be around them! So I am thankful that I gathered so much junk it force me to put myself out there!